Top Ten Morons
1. WILL
THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP
AT&T fired
President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership.
He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's
lacking intelligence.
2 WITH A
LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in
Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded
himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the
man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting "Please come out and give
yourself up."
3. WHAT
WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man,
pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different
automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own
bank accounts.
4. THE
GETAWAY!
A man walked into
a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer.
Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the
counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.
5. DID I
SAY THAT???
Police in Los
Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a
lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give
me all your money or I'll shoot, the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
6. ARE
WE COMMUNICATING??
A man spoke
frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!", the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
7. NOT
THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!
In Modesto,
California, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America
branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but
unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (Hellllllooooooo!)
8. THE
GRAND FINALE
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out drive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath, he came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!!!