Conspiracy
Have you ever
noticed that when you're of a certain age, everything seems uphill from where you are?
Stairs are steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I
walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in
whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves,
endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do
they think I am, a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people
my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has
aged so much that she didn't even recognize me. I got to thinking about the poor dear
while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own
refection........ Well, REALLY NOW ........ even mirrors are not made the way they used to
be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast today! You're risking life and limb if you just
happen to pull onto the freeway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear
out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start
labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things
no longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?
The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse. Do they
think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let
myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on - but the telephone
company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type
that no one could ever find a number in here!
All I can do is pass along this warning: Maturity is under attack! Unless something
drastic happens, pretty soon "everyone" will have to suffer these awful
indignities.