How Many Christians Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the
change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk
about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a
light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you,
that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light
bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb
traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of
which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are
loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip
bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of
your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Quakers: None: the Inner Light is enough
Amish: What's a light bulb?