Angels Smile
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the
money now, will he let us go?"
****
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says,
"My Dad scribbles a few words on a
piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says,
"That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a
song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people
to collect all the money!"
****
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could
have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
****
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't
take me out while I was Alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead."
****
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie replied, "Because
people are sleeping."
****
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year
olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she
asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not
kill."
****
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one
of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill,
and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my
side. I think I'm going to have a wife."