1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?

6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?

8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?

9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?

10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?"  Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt!"

11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

14. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!

16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness.  Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

Go Confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined. -Henry David Thoreau

 

Clever sayings:  Observations worth your Contemplation

 If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
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 Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
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 A penny saved is a government oversight.
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The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the
 right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
 moment.
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The  older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then
 your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
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 The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
 replacement.
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He who hesitates is probably right.
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 Did  you ever notice:
The  Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL"
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If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
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The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's
 really in trouble.
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 There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.
 For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles
 don't hurt.
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Did  you ever notice:
 When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."