Family

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

"Why?" my daughter asked.

"Because it's been on the ground, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs," I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Mommy, how do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly. "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

"OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy."

"EXACTLY!" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

When you're finished laughing, share this with a Mom.

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RAISING BOYS (WHY SOME PEOPLE PREFER PETS) (Or, why some people say, "Wait until you have kids!")

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCRs do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids!

~~ Beauty of a Woman ~~

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows..

Our Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE -- My Mommie can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE -- My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE -- My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE -- Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE -- Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE -- That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE -- Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE -- Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE -- Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE -- Wish I could talk it over with Mom. . .

I wash the dirt from little feet,
And as I wash I pray,
"Lord, keep them ever pure and true,
To walk the narrow way."

I wash the dirt from little hands,
And earnestly I ask,
"Lord, may they ever yielded be
To do the humblest task."

I wash the dirt from little knees,
And pray, "Lord, may they be
The place where victories are won,
And orders sought from Thee."

I scrub the clothes that soil so soon,
And pray, "Lord, may her dress
Through all eternal ages be
Thy robe of righteousness."

"Ere many hours shall pass, I know,
I'll wash these hands again;
And there'll be dirt upon her dress
Before the day shall end."

"But as she journeys on through life,
And learns of want and pain,
Lord, keep her precious little heart
Cleansed from all sin and stain."

"For soap and water cannot reach
Where Thou alone canst see,
Her hands and feet, these I can wash,
I trust her heart to Thee."

Snopes.com says this is false -- at least, in the sense that it was written as a parable, not retelling a true story -- but it's still good.

Wanangwa

Subject: Child Predators--This is Scary

What a story this is!!

God sees all that is happening in my life...

I don?t intend to be giving you something else to worry about.......but take
a look at this! It really puts into words how a kid can give away their
true identification without realizing they supplied the missing key pieces of
the puzzle.

After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get
on-line.. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her Buddy
List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant message:

ByAngel213:
Hi. I'm glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It
was really weird!

GoTo123:
LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you?
Don't you live in a safe neighborhood?

ByAngel213:
Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz' I didn't see anybody
when I looked out.

GoTo123:
Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven't done that have you?

ByAngel213:
Of course not. I'm not stupid you know.

GoTo123:
Did you have a softball game after school today?

ByAngel213:
Yes and we won!!

GoTo123:
That's great! Who did you play?

ByAngel213:
We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like
bees. LOL

GoTo123:
What is your team called?

ByAngel213:
We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really
cool.

GoTo1 23:
Did you pitch?

ByAngel213:
No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my
parents get home. I don't want them mad at me. Bye!

GoTo123:
Catch you later. Bye

Meanwhile.......GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for her
profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a
pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.

Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived: North Carolina

Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall. Besides this
information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him. He knew
she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until her parents came
home from work. He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the
school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats. Her favorite number 7 was
printed on her jersey. He knew she was in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior
High School . She had told him all this in the conversations they had on-
line. He had enough information to find her now.

Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the
ballpark that day. She didn't want them to make a scene and stop her from
walking home from the softball games. Parents were always overreacti ng and hers
were the worst. It made her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had
brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn't be so overprotective.

By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.

Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at her. It
was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second base
position to see a man watching her closely.

He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she
looked at him. He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the sudden fear
she had felt.

After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach. She
noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and she smiled
back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew he had found her.

Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few blocks to
Shannon 's home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the
park to get his car.

Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to
go to Shannon 's house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until
time to make his move.

Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the
living room.

"Shannon, come here," her father called. He sounded upset and she couldn't
imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting
on the sofa.

"Sit down," her father began, "this man has just told us a most interesting
story about you."

Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had never seen
him before today!

"Do you know who I am, Shannon ?" the man asked.

"No," Shannon answered.

"I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123."

Shannon was stunned. "That's impossible! GoTo is a kid my age! He's 14. And
he lives in Michigan !"

The man smiled. "I know I told you all that, but it wasn't true. You see,
Shannon , there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them.
But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of
parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to
teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people on-line. You told me enough
about yourself to make it easy for me to find you. You named the school you went
to, the name of your ball team and the position you played. The number and
name on your jersey just made finding you a breeze."

Shannon was stunned.. "You mean you don't live in Michigan ?"

He laughed. "No, I live in Raleigh . It made you feel safe to think I was
so far away, didn't it?"

She nodded.

"I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn't as lucky. The
guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not
to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time on-line. The
wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there
on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you
without even realizing you have done it. I hope you've learned a lesson from this
and won't do it again. Tell others about this so they will be safe too?"

"It's a promise!"

That night Shannon and her Dad and Mom all knelt down together and thanked
God for protecting Shannon from what could have been a tragic situation.